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2015 Candlelight Vigil

Remarks from the National President of Concerns of Police Survivors

By Madeline Neumann, National President, Concerns of Police Survivors, May 13, 2015

Good evening survivors, honored guests. Secretary Jeh Johnson, Attorney General Loretta Lynch thank you for participating in this candlelight vigil and honoring our officers. Craig Floyd thank you for vision and dedication in creating and maintaining this beautiful memorial. It is a privilege and an honor to be here tonight to address you.

I became a law enforcement survivor on August 3rd 1989 when my husband Keith Neumann, an Essex County Police Officer from NJ, was shot and killed during a drug raid. Keith and I had a long history together having been friends since I was in kindergarten. He was my best friend. At the time of his death, Keith was 24 years old. Far too young to die. And I was far too young to find myself widowed at the age of 22 after only 6 weeks of marriage. Keith and I had so many things planned for our life together: buying a house, having children and growing old together. We never got to enjoy any of those things. His life and our life together was cut way too short. So many "what ifs" and "if onlys". I had to accept the fact that many questions I had would never be answered. That was one of most difficult things for me to come to terms with: the fact that Keith no longer had a future and that my future no longer included him. I struggled with this concept for quite a while. All the while hoping and waiting for "closure", an elusive concept. 

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